The Holiday Ex-Files by Jennifer Peel

Author:Jennifer Peel [Peel, Jennifer]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2021-10-21T16:00:00+00:00

Chapter Eighteen

Dear Ex-Filers, do I have a funny story for you, and the best comeback of all time, if I do say so myself. Last night at the grocery store, while I was deciding on how many pints of ice cream I should buy (I got four if you must know), some random man slid in front of me as I reached for my precious dairy products and said, “Hello, angel, did you fall from heaven?” Before I gagged on that cheesy line, my brain gifted me with a zinger. “Why yes,” I purred. “But remember, so did Satan,” I said in my deepest evil voice. The man about wet himself before he fled from my presence. Good times.

Stay safe from cheesy pickup lines this weekend. If you do fall victim to one, just remember I’m here winter, spring, summer, and fall to remove them all.

I’m off to snuggle bunnies now.

Lots of love,

Cami

I published my post and then picked up my pooch to snuggle on the couch. Neville and I had been having a lot of heart-to-heart talks since yesterday. I think he’d come to the conclusion that I probably needed anti-anxiety meds more than he did. He wasn’t wrong. I was blaming Miss Sparkly, but she was pinning it all on me, saying if I would just let go, we would be so much happier. I was willing to compromise and let go of a few things. I mean, I’d gone to Hobby Lobby and bought pumpkin pillows for goodness’ sake. And my condo smelled like I was smoking pumpkin spice. Why couldn’t that be good enough? Why did she think we needed a man’s touch? Didn’t she remember how safe we had felt with Ben once upon a time?

I snuggled Neville to my chest, like that would help vanquish the earth-shattering feelings Ben’s betrayal invoked. There was no safe anymore.

There never was, you ninny, Miss Sparkly rudely interrupted my thoughts. At least not in the way you’re thinking, she softened her tone. There are no safety nets in life; if you want to feel the highs, there is always a risk of falling.

To our death, I reminded her.

You live like we are dead. What’s worse?

Ouch.

I only say these things to you for our own good. Do you think I like that we’re talking to ourselves? If you would only come to terms with me, your true self, we wouldn’t be having these conversations anymore. The ball is in your court here. Are you going to start playing the game we love again, a.k.a. life? Or are you going to sit here on the couch, talking to me and Neville for eternity?

I like Neville. You, not so much.

You love me. You’re just scared.

I let Neville rest on my lap and plugged my ears, as if that would help Miss Sparkly go away.

Still here, she sang.

Ugh.

Now get up, Noah will be here soon to pick you up.

I had planned to call and cancel on Noah after arguing with Miss Sparkly last night for hours about her behavior around him.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.